We live
in a time when war is, for lack of a better word, used. War is a big seller.
Movies, books, video games and rhetoric about war have sold billions of dollars
and won elections.
War is
glamorized. We all know deep down that it is awful, that it means people are
going to die, but most of us also realize that it is inevitable, and a
necessary evil. I get that. It would be a bigger evil to allow the bullies of
the world to get by with the atrocities that some of them carry out on innocent
people. That is the catch. Somebody has to stand up to the bullies, to step in,
intervene in the behalf of those who are too weak or oppressed to defend
themselves. We call these people heroes, because they literally give up
everything: their rights, their freedoms, their comforts and riches and
sometimes their very lives for the dream of a safer, more free world.
Most of
us are simply not willing to sign up for that sort of thing, but some do.
A few
years ago our son made that choice. He knew full well what the risks were, but
he took the oath, put on the uniform, suffered through boot camp, lived
oversees for years and spent eleven months with his brothers of the 173rd
Airborne Brigade in rugged and dangerous Afghanistan.
 |
| Pearman and Fitz OEFX |
One of
his closest buddies was 'Fitz'. Geoff Pearman and Mark Fitzgibbons were an odd couple of sorts,
considering Geoff's passion for Oklahoma Sooner Football and Fitz's propensity
to wear burnt orange and say things like, 'Hook 'em'. But Geoff and Mark liked each other instantly. They were both a little older than the
other enlisted guys, and both had gone to college. They became friends, then
battle buddies and eventually brothers. They had each other's backs. Fitz
earned Geoff's trust early on when Mark was still one of the new guys. The
platoon was preparing for deployment and on a training mission. Geoff was sick
and having a lot of trouble staying hydrated and keeping up. Without
hesitating, without being prompted, and in spite of Geoff resisting, Fitz took
Geoff's 50 pound backpack, piled it on top of his own, and didn't miss a step.
See what
I mean? That is why we call them heroes.
Well we
do call them that.... While they're there. But what do we do with them after
they come home? I mean all of us... As a people, a nation... for whom these
guys risked everything. Are we honoring them when they get back? I dare say
that we can do better. There are way too many OIF and OEF veterans who are not
thriving.
When
Geoff was preparing to come home and re-enter what we call, 'the real world' or
civilian life, to be more proper, I was warned by other Army moms and wives to
read up and prepare myself for....something. I wasn't sure what, but the
warnings were ominous. How do you prepare for something when you don't even
know what it is? PTSD? What actually is it? Would I recognize it? Would Geoff
even know if he was suffering from it? I started reading what I could, but it
was overwhelming, frankly. And it seemed pointless to dwell on negative
thinking, so I stopped reading and just tried to 'be there' for Geoff in
whatever way I could. He has been a civilian again for over a year, and is
taking steps towards achieving his dreams and goals, but it has not been a
piece of cake. I call the whole process,' The War After the War.'
Today
Geoff will don his uniform again in a stark reminder that the war is not
over... Not for him, not for his closest platoon brothers and certainly not for
my friend, Kathy Fitzgibbons, who will bury her son, Mark today. Mark completed
his duty as a soldier just a few months ago. He successfully dodged bullets,
RPGs, and IEDs in OEFX, but did not survive the transition to civilian life. We
don't know what happened yet, but we are all... Soldiers and families who knew
and loved Fitz, suffocating in agonizing grief.
Rest in
peace, dear sweet sky soldier. You will never be forgotten.
