Anybody who knows me knows that I am not a fan of worry. My grandma taught me a long time ago that worrying is a big waste of time. She said, 'If you worry you don't trust, and if you trust you don't worry.' But if I told you that I never worry, not only would I be a hypocrite, I would be a liar. But that doesn't change how I feel about it.
Other words that I refuse to embrace: anxiety, fear, anger, and depression. These are not emotions that I coddle or invite with any hospitality into my life. I believe that these are great destroyers of all that we can be, and so I am determined to be against them. Having said that, I have to admit that every single one of them has had their way with me from time to time this year.
It is only April, and I quiver as I look back on the past three and a half months. Our family has experienced much hardship, including things such as sicknesses, injuries, surgeries, heartbreaks, uncertainty, and deaths. The bad news has been seemingly incessant. It is hard to believe that it has been over a month since I kissed my sister for the last time.
One night recently I went to bed and struggled to get to sleep. I was angry, and I knew I shouldn't go to bed angry. But I was angry. I was angry with somebody who was purposely hurting somebody very very close to me, and I was angry with God, because my storm was still raging. I cried into my pillow and prayed that he would help me. When I woke up, I had a peace that truly made no earthly sense. It had to be from him.
Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, 'Lord, save us! We're going to drown!'
He replied, 'You of little faith, why are you so afraid?' Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
The men were amazed and asked, 'What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!'
Matthew 8:24-27
All I have to say to that is....
HALLELUJAH!
